


Devotion is the Perfect Lie

by Sumiregawa Nenene (Shadowblight)



Category: Gyakuten Saiban | Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Genre: Angst, Community: yuri_challenge, F/F, Femslash, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowblight/pseuds/Sumiregawa%20Nenene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief look at the events, and into Adrian's mind following the events, that occurred two years prior to Case 2-4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devotion is the Perfect Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Um, I'm very sorry if this wasn't what the original prompter had in mind. Honestly, I had the intention for this to be a happier fic when I chose the prompt, but I've been in a real muck lately, so this is unfortunately how it turned out. **This fanfiction depicts a suicide attempt.** Please do not read if you feel this is a trigger for you. Written for Livejournal community [yuri_challenge](http://community.livejournal.com/yuri_challenge) to the prompt "devotion."

_Didn't anyone tell you?_

"Tell me?"

Ignoring.

"Tell me what?"

Desperation.

_I heard it was all the drugs and alcohol. You know that sort of life is..._

Confusion.

"What's happened?"

_And now she's dead, taking that fast track into the stars -- I always wondered what that meant, but now I guess I don't have to wonder any longer..._

Shoving through the crowd. The crowd beating back. Small form making it impossible to push through people, so instead opting to squeeze against the wall, chest crushed, heart clenching, impossible to breathe. Stopped by the yellow tape, and an officer with a badge as dully burnished as his expression. "What's going on?"

More ignoring. Another voice in the throng.

Frustration. Diving under the tape, taking only a moment to shove an ID badge at the officer who now takes every attention. He stumbles from the force; he wasn't expecting it from such a seemingly small source, a true storm in the making -- and he puzzles over the badge for a moment.

It's enough.

Enough to reach the door with the nonsensical scribble that served as Juan Corrida's signature tacked to it. To find the door wide open, a group of officers lowering the body into a nondescript black bag. A female body.

Her body.

Enough to feel feet crumble below, rough hands of the officer catching harshly beneath the right shoulder, jolting it almost right out of the socket. Enough to hear the officer yelling, demanding to know, _What do you think you're doing?!_

"I don't know!"

***

"Ms. Andrews, you understand of course that what you did was very wrong."

"I don't know."

A short creaking sounded as the officer leaned back to appeal to his partner, also in the Questioning Room. There was a shaking of the head in response.

"You could have seriously fouled up the investigation."

_Investigation? She killed herself. What's to investigate?_

"I don't know."

The man sitting across from her scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "Can you tell me your relationship with Ms. Inpax?"

Adrian felt bile rise in her throat, and it almost felt a blessing that her mind instead told her that she was tasting the copper of blood from biting her tongue. "I... don't know." She felt a smile stiffly find its way onto her face.

***

Looking back on it, Adrian would laugh sometimes when she would remember the officer signing the paper saying that she was safe for release. That she was not of harm to herself or others. It was standard protocol of course to give her a copy. A farce, as far as she was concerned.

***

"You can't make something of it, if you're not devoted," Celeste had told her once. She had very recently stopped being manager for Matt Engarde. That, and she'd stopped being his girlfriend. It was to the latter that her statement involved.

The peach tree in the older woman's back yard (probably odd to be blooming this time of year, but Adrian had never bothered to consider it) and an almost silent breeze made the evening idyllic.

Celeste rubbed at the back of her neck, and the moonlight shimmered against her brunette hair.

At times like this, Adrian always felt breathless, but for entirely different reasons than physical expenditure. But apparently her expressions during these times made Celeste uncomfortable. The older woman eyes widened slightly, and dipped her head slightly in appeal for Adrian to stop as she went on, "Do you think I'm going to land this client?"

Adrian smiled, a soft, airy smile. "Of course you will. You get every client you put your mind to." She felt as young and foolish as she truly was even now, but she had decided a few months ago to just enjoy it as it came. She turned her head downward so that Celeste would not feel as pressured by her expression. "You're very... strong, for that."

The younger woman did not notice, and would never notice the rest of the time, that Celeste's eyes filled with worry. Celeste also looked to the ground, then. "I guess I must be."

***

Celeste did land that client, a rising star by the name of Juan Corrida. It took very little for Celeste to become smitten by him; he resembled Matt in that he would be sweet to her -- whenever it suited him, at least. Also like Matt, it took a bit of time for him to show his true colors.

Adrian's own career was jumpstarted with Celeste's connections, and she became event coordinator for some of the public events to promote the Jammin' Ninja show. Celeste was a foundation block for her; a mentor, and a point of fixation.

Every day she would look forward to seeing her on the set, feel her heart ache when Celeste would show her favor, or even when they simply went to the local cafe for coffee. Adrian's dependency on Celeste became that she felt her entire day was ruined unless she met with her, or couldn't at least see her.

Juan was not a cruel man initially, and his attitude grew as his rivalry with Matt did. Adrian felt Celeste becoming more upset, but at the same time, nothing she could do cheered the other woman.

She certainly hadn't seen any signs that Celeste was going to do what she ended up doing.

***

The time that had led up to this moment, Adrian couldn't remember. It was a blur to her now. Everything after seeing the body being lowered, she couldn't understand. She didn't know.

The only things she did know, were that Celeste was gone, and that a sharp knife sat placidly in the palm of her hand.

All that she'd felt for the past several years, being around Celeste, seemed a lie. All the times they'd held conversations, had spent time with one another, been there for each other -- none of it meant anything.

Celeste had not been strong. That had been a lie she'd created in her own mind, fostered to the point that she'd believed it to be the truth.

Devotion was not enough to make something of life, of _it_, whatever _it_ was. It certainly did not make you strong.

It was not helping her to fight against the lies she'd created. It made one _weaker_.

Worst, it seemed, was that it was _her own fault_. Her own mind had made her blind to Celeste's pain.

It made Adrian realize more than ever how much she wanted to change her passive nature towards Celeste. Wished that she'd done more, said more... _admitted_ more.

Overall, it made Adrian hate herself.

_Take me away... from me_, she wished silently, and felt the pressure against her wrist suddenly burst with pain.

Her face contorted and she fell backwards, feeling oddly confused by the sensations. Distantly, she heard the clanging of some pots and pans as they fell from the counter with the force of her body. Dully, she thought that her own collapse must have caused a lot of noise, too.

It did not take long for Adrian to feel faint -- her tolerance for blood drawing had never been very good. She noted that the blood around her pooled nicely, and none had really splattered any. This concept seemed to content her somewhat.

Quicker now, she felt her consciousness slipping, and deciding that she wouldn't want to fall face-first into the blood to cause further mess, she simply tilted her head backwards and it banged solidly against the cabinets.

Thinking back, she supposed that last faint sound might have been her neighbor banging down the door, instead.

Either way, it had seemed to Adrian the perfect plan; a great end to the perfect lie.


End file.
